I use writing to help me understand my life better. Sometimes it displays itself as poetry, as I will show you here, and sometimes it displays itself as creative non-fiction, as in the post Faith Overcoming Death.
I originally wrote this poem in June 2018. I was thinking about how close God had/has stuck with me throughout my life. And I thought that if God were a person, like a regular human person, the way he sticks with you would be considered stalking--we would think there was something wrong with that person. And the thought struck me as funny and I wanted to explore it a little. So I went with it. I wrote the first line (which is now the title) "God is crazy," and just went from there.
This is a great way to explore ideas you have. You might have one single idea, one sentence, phrase or even just a word. Take that phrase, write it down, and just keep going. Don't worry about what might come out. Just keep going. The writing is the learning.
For instance, after writing this, I had a deeper appreciation for how close God sticks with us. While the tone of my poem might be a little sarcastic, my attitude was not. It expresses the position of a person who is angry with God, with who he is as far as how he won't let you alone--a person who thinks they are fine on their own. Prideful. But then when push comes to shove, and the pride leads to a fall, that person immediately turns to God for help--and is so thankful he didn't leave all those times we pushed him away. God has the audacity to know that we need him, even when we don't know it.
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Title: "God is Crazy"
Written June 2018
***
I'm telling you,
He really is.
My psychiatrist would have labeled Him
OCD and delusional long ago.
He doesn't let up.
He can not quit on something
Once he starts.
He is so stuck on the idea
Of saving you from your own
Self destructive tendencies--
He wants to save you from them
Ever so badly
He will follow you around
Whispering all the while,
"Come to me, come to me,
I can help"
And he might start lagging behind
A little further the more you reject him,
But he doesn't disappear, he doesn't stop!
And I mentioned delusional--
Seriously, he had to be delusional
To think someone like me
Would ever turn to him!
And here, let's add
Thoughts of god-like status--
Who does he really think he is,
after all?
God?!
And he's reading this poem
--NOT over my shoulder,
As any normal person might do--
But from within my head as I write it--
Does he not understand
The concept of personal space?
Like I said,
He doesn't give up--
I used to try to tell him to go away,
I didn't want him around,
And I lived my life just any way I wanted
And I thought I got him off my back
But something horrible
Happened to me,
And suddenly I needed someone
To help me, and right there he was.
See? That's proof he never
REALLY went too far away.
But then, who am I kidding?
We can't escape him, can we?
You may have read that verse
--where can I go to escape you?
Huh.
***
God, bless those who read this.
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